


Rare Hearts

by caffeineguzzler



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst, Bets, Drama, Jealousy, M/M, Mentions of Craig/Kyle, Mentions of Stan/Kyle, assholes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 23:39:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14779463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeineguzzler/pseuds/caffeineguzzler
Summary: Having to capture the heart of the weird guy in theatre won't stop Craig from winning $150.





	Rare Hearts

“You wouldn’t do it. There’s no way.” 

“For fifty bucks I would.”

“Wow. You’re so cheap, Craig, but that works for me. You’re on.”

Craig smugly clicked his tongue at Clyde. “Easiest money I’ve ever made.”

Clyde rolled his eyes, arms crossed in front of him. The two boys stood in front of Craig’s locker in the hallway, picking up their books for their next class. Craig took what he needed and closed his locker, motioning for Clyde to follow him to their next class.

“How you gonna even do it?” Clyde asked, nearly having to jog against Craig’s long, easy strides. “He’s, like, freaky.”

“I’m good at what I do, Clyde,” Craig shrugged. “Don’t doubt my skills.”

“I obviously do if I’m betting against it, idiot,” Clyde snickered. “And even if you  _ do _ somehow even get him to talk to you, or even get him to go  _ out  _ with you, you probably wouldn’t even last a day. I can barely stand him in class, dude.”

“I have an endless amount of patience,” Craig replied, scratching the side of his neck. He glanced down at Clyde and threw him a shit-eating smirk. “I hang out with you after all.”

"Fuck you, Craig!,” Clyde laughed. “Okay, okay, for another fifty dollars, I bet you wouldn’t last, uh, 2 weeks with him.”

Craig hummed in contemplation as they found themselves in front of their classroom and paused. “Make that a hundred dollars and I’ll make it four weeks and even throw in a kiss in front of the whole school.”

“You’re terrible,” Clyde snorted. “But you’re on.”

They smacked their hands together and firmly shook hands, sealing their deal. Almost as soon as they clasped their hands, they were torn apart by a messy blonde frantically trying to make his way past them through the classroom door. 

“ _ Move _ ! You’re gonna make everyone late!” he fussed as he shoved past them. 

Craig glared at his back. Clyde smugly smiled at him. 

“You’re gonna lose this so easily, Craig.”

“Fuck you, Clyde. Prepare my hundred fifty because I’m going to make  _ that  _ mine.”

They finally entered and sat in their usual seats. Tweek Tweak sat in the very front and center of the classroom, as if eager and anxious to absorb information from the teacher. Craig’s eyes bore into the back of his head, thinking of a way to win his bet. As far as he knew, Tweek didn’t have many friends, if any at all. His constant fidgeting and random outbursts tended to keep others away, not wanting to be seen with the twitchy, paranoid kid who may or may not have been misplaced in the normal kids’ curriculum. 

_ Tap, tap, tap.  _ Tweek tapped his pen incessantly on the table. Craig could see the pen tapping against the table behind Tweek’s shoulder. His eyes slid downwards, noticing that his leg was shaking anxiously as well. A trembling hand reached out to his thermos and brought it precariously to his face. Craig bit his lip and cracked his neck to the side. 

He didn’t know where to start, but the clock was ticking. 

The lesson began, the teacher droning on about the history of Europe. Craig never paid much attention. Clyde diligently took notes, actually paying attention to the class. His notes was what saved Craig from failing the class and he was quietly thankful for it, but Clyde would never know that. 

The class was horribly dry, maybe it could’ve been interesting at one point, but Craig wouldn’t have known. He was too busy formulating a plan. Tweek was an enigma, not someone you would look at and assume they have a romantic life. He looked like a tumbleweed that came straight out of bed, someone who might at one point have worn a tin foil hat on his head.

Didn’t he actually do that once? He heard it in passing in the hallway before.

Tweek had a lot of rumors surrounding him. It wasn’t surprising, considering how little anyone knew of him. He generally kept to himself as far as Craig could tell.

Not that Craig was incredibly popular himself, but he certainly didn’t fly under the radar. Being tall with black hair and icy blue eyes didn’t hurt him. Stylishly dressed with an intentional messy look to his hair definitely helped to put him somewhere in the more attractive scale. He only wanted to look presentable, but the amount of times he was asked out by girls and even some guys definitely boosted his ego a little bit, if not a lot. 

A certain hard-to-get redhead climbing into his bed definitely did not hurt his ego either. Although it was probably due to Kyle Broflovski’s desperation and frustration toward his  _ very  _ straight romantic interest and the fact that Craig looked like him, Craig still took pride at the fact Kyle had thought Craig worthy of fucking him into his mattress. Craig thought back on it, Kyle had one of the nicest beds he’d ever experienced and he certainly wouldn’t have minded experiencing it again. He could probably leave out Kyle moaning Stan’s name when he came though. That was uncomfortable.

Craig balled up a small piece of paper and experimentally flicked it towards the back of Tweek’s head and nearly shat himself when Tweek sharply turned his head toward him, glaring. The ball pathetically hit his cheek. Tweek trembled. Craig’s mouth fell slightly open in shock.

“ _ What? _ ” Tweek mouthed at him, eyebrows furrowing.

Craig closed his mouth and shrugged, still slightly alarmed that Tweek had caught him mid-flicking a paper ball at him.

Tweek squinted at him and threw him a middle finger.

Craig was intrigued. He threw a middle finger right back. Next to him, Clyde snorted. Craig redirected his middle finger.

The rest of the class went by uneventfully. Whenever the bell rang, Tweek was always the first one already packed up and ready to rush out the door. It was almost like a weird obsession. As if being late to the next class meant certain doom or the end of the world. 

After leisurely packing up his belongings, Craig waved at Clyde and went by to his next class, thinking of how to proceed with his plan. Unable to focus on class, thoughts of how he would spend his bet money flew in and out of his mind. Maybe he would buy a new guitar case.

“You two are fucking assholes,” said Token, sipping from his juice box. 

“Okay, not untrue, but,” Clyde paused and leaned in, “have you seen the guy? There’s no way Craig could bag that. He’s  _ insane. _ ”

Token rolled his eyes from across the table. “What do you have to say about this Craig? Hm?”

“I say I’m winning a hundred and fifty dollars,” Craig shrugged, taking a bite out of his lunch. 

“Absolutely no shame,” Token shook his head. 

“C-c-come  _ on _ , guys,” started Jimmy. “As long as n-no one gets hurt, it w-w-won’t be too bad, right?”

“It’s a bad idea all around,” Token replied.

“Whatever,” huffed Clyde. “We’re just having fun. Plus maybe it’ll make little Tweek’s life a little more interesting right? He doesn’t have any friends anyway.”

“H-he’s in theatre man,” replied Jimmy, picking at his food. He looked up at Craig. “I-I-I’m sure he’s plenty in-interesting.”

Craig’s eyebrow went up in intrigue.

“Theatre. Huh.”

**Author's Note:**

> easy start :)  
> http://caffeineguzzler.tumblr.com


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